


intertwined

by worstgirl



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Cuddles, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Jkjk, M/M, Nightmares, OR IS IT, Songfic, Suicidal Thoughts, dun dun dun, interpret them how you want tbh, jeremy’s got issues, just really love this song and its angsty, mild tw, post-musical, stay safe kiddos, the squip isn’t really there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2019-05-21 19:26:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14921444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/worstgirl/pseuds/worstgirl
Summary: oh, i’m afraid of the things in my brainbut we can stay hereand laugh away the fear~~~just some fluff/angst boysjeremy has voices in his head, but michael takes care of himfrom intertwined by dodie clark





	intertwined

**Author's Note:**

> note: i do not own these lyrics, they are by no means mine, and im just borrowing them.

_ Skin _

 

Jeremy woke in a tangle of limbs and blankets, the silence of the room around him almost deafening in his ears, except for the low, steady breathing of whoever was curled around him. He could feel the smoothness, recognizing the feel of Michael’s hands against his back, skin touching skin. 

 

_ Heat _

 

The heat coming from the other boy was soothing, the feeling of Michael’s arms around him making Jeremy feel warm and safe. The blankets and the warm body pressed up against him lulled Jeremy into a soft, half-asleep state.

 

_ Hair in your mouth _

 

Jeremy soon realized that with how they had fallen asleep, Michael’s lips pressed against the top of his head, there was hair in Michael’s mouth. He reached up to brush it away from the other boy’s lips, making Michael stir a little.

 

_ Feet touching feet _

 

Their legs were curled together, Michael’s feet touching Jeremy’s, their relative heights making Jeremy rely on Michael’s arm for a pillow. Michael shifted, slowly waking up. Jeremy looked up into his face, the soft smile on Michael’s lips making his heart jump. Maybe this would be the day where everything was alright, where he didn’t have to worry.

 

_ Oh you and I _

 

Michael blinked down at Jeremy, his glasses still on the bedside table from where he had set them the night before. He looked down at Jeremy, as if he couldn’t quite believe he was seeing Jeremy there, no matter how many times they woke up together. Or rather, not seeing. Jeremy felt his lips twitch at the look on Michael’s face of happy disbelief. 

 

_ Safe from the world  _

 

Jeremy’s arms slid around the other boy’s chest so he could press his face against Michael’s chest. He shut his eyes again, feeling the familiar ache coming back into his head. It seeped in through the cracks in his walls he didn’t even know existed, the darkness eating at the light Michael provided. Reality was trying to get into his dream world of perfection with Michael, and he didn’t want it to.

 

_ Though the world will try _

 

Michael seemed to be able to tell the slight tensing of Jeremy’s muscles, pulling him closer and pressing his lips against Jeremy’s head. Jeremy tried to focus on that feeling, the feeling of warmth and safety and Michael, shutting out the darkness, and the real world. They could go away and leave him alone. 

 

_ Oh, I’m afraid of the things in my brain  _

 

It was trying to speak to him again, the smooth, silky voice taunting and twisting his thoughts. Jeremy hated it, the way it slipped so easily with his own voice in his head- the loudest voice, most of the time, but others, it was deafened by the words of his worst nightmare, the thing in his brain he couldn’t remove, the one thing he was truly afraid of.

 

_ But we can stay here  _

 

Jeremy was brought back to reality by Michael’s hand on his cheek, gentle and soothing, guiding their faces to each other. Jeremy felt Michael’s lips against his, chasing away the wisps of darkness that threatened to creep at his brain. 

 

_ And laugh away the fear _

 

He just enjoyed the kiss for a second, lightly pressing his lips back against Michael’s, before trying to turn his head. In his sleepy state, their noses bumped against each other, and Michael laughed slightly. Jeremy couldn’t help but laugh softly with the other boy. The fear nearly disappeared in that second, the voice muted by the buzz from Michael’s kiss in his brain. 

 

_ Numb _

 

Jeremy had a precious few moments of true happiness, wrapped in Michael’s arms, the voice in his brain silent. Then it started again, the familiar routine of the whisper of his name, gradually getting louder and louder, until it was defeaning, and he couldn’t hear anything but that voice. Everything else went numb in comparison, until Jeremy felt like he was trapped in a web, the spider’s voice tempting and taunting him. 

 

_ Fine _

 

Jeremy felt fingers running through his hair, and he looked up at Michael. While he had been lost in thought, the other boy had grabbed his glasses, sliding them on. He was now looking worriedly at Jeremy. Jeremy felt his face cupped in Michael’s hands, warm on his cheeks. “You okay?” Michael murmured, his thumb dragging softly along Jeremy’s cheekbones. Jeremy nodded, a silent agreement- he was fine. Nothing new.

 

_ You create a rarity of my genuine smile _

 

Michael’s smile was a little sad, almost pitying. Jeremy hated it, the way he was pitied. But the other boy just leaned over and kissed his nose, light and calm. He didn’t say he was sorry. He didn’t say he wished Jeremy was actually fine. He didn’t mention the voices in his head. He just muttered, “I love you.” Jeremy couldn’t help but smile slightly- a rarity nowadays. A genuine smile on the pale boy’s face wasn’t easy to come across, but if it did happen, it was because of Michael. 

 

_ So breathe _

 

The smile faded fast, and the words became deafening in Jeremy’s head. They bombarded his brain, twisting and turning and burning, feeling like brands inside his skull. It hadn’t been this bad in ages. The nightmares had gotten worse, the voices had gotten louder, his meds wore off faster. Everything ached, and he found it difficult to take a breath.

 

_ Breathe with me _

 

Michael was suddenly pulling Jeremy tight to his chest, murmuring things into his hair. Calming things, soothing things, loving things. Jeremy knew he should feel happy about this, because this boy loved him, but he couldn’t concentrate on anything except his own ragged breaths. “Breathe with me.” Michael said, and Jeremy could sense a bit of sadness in his words, and he obeyed, following the rise and fall of Michael’s chest. 

 

_ Can you drink all my thoughts  _

 

Jeremy found himself thinking things he didn’t believe- Michael was just staying with him out of pity, everything about him was so terrible, Michael didn’t love him, everything about him made him want to die, he didn’t deserve to be alive, everyone thought he was such a slob. He couldn’t even tell which of them were actually his, they kept slipping and sliding over each other like eels or water, filling his head.

 

_ Cause I can’t stand them _

 

Jeremy let out a small sob, clutching at his head. He couldn’t do this anymore, he couldn’t deal with the thoughts. Were they his or something whispering to him? Were they real or just a supercomputer? A glitch or reality? Was he insane? Whatever they were, they hurt. He couldn’t stand them a second longer. In the haze of pain, he didn’t notice the other boy slipping out of his arms.

 

_ Intertwined _

 

Michael returned, the creak of the bedsprings indicating his presence, and Jeremy looked up at him through tear-blurred eyes. He felt gentle hands on him, making him sit up. The voices in his brain twined around each other until he couldn’t separate them, and he could tell Michael was speaking to him, but he couldn’t hear over his own sobs. 

 

_ Free _

 

He felt something at his lips, and he inadvertently swallowed, the liquid, while sweet and slightly bubbly, burning at his throat. His head exploded with pain, the voice getting louder and louder until it was a high-pitched, technological scream, or maybe that was his scream, he couldn’t tell. Then, all of a sudden, it stopped. Silence. The feeling of Michael’s soothing arms around him. He was free, again, the same routine as always. 

 

_ I’ve pinned each and every hope on you _

 

There in Michael’s arms, he felt sick to his stomach. Michael was everything to him, the last thing he didn’t scare away. Jeremy knew that he’d hurt Michael, but for some reason, he’d come back. He’d returned to him, and he was being so nice and loving and kind to him, even when he’d fucked everything up. Even when he’d scared the others away. He was Jeremy’s last hope of anything good in this fucked up world, and he hated how much he relied on the other.

 

_ I hope that you don’t bleed with me _

 

He finally looked up at the darker-skinned boy’s face, and he could tell the other had been crying as well. Had he messed up? He’d made Michael upset, he’d made his boy upset. His problems were hurting Michael, they were both hurting because of his mistakes. He wished Michael didn’t hurt as much as he did, hoped that he wasn’t doing the same because of what Jeremy had done. Was he bleeding too?

 

_ I’m afraid of the things in my brain _

 

The voice was gone, chased into shut down by the red soda, but the words still lingered. “M-Michael, I’m so sorry.” Jeremy finally murmured, his head leaning against the other boy’s chest. He was apologizing for so much. The words that threatened to spill out of him, the thoughts in his head, his awful actions, every tiny mistake and scar he left behind. 

 

_ But we can stay here  _

 

“Shh, it’s okay, Jerbear.” Michael said into his hair, holding Jeremy close. “We can stay here today, okay? Just us two.” His voice was quiet, so quiet Jeremy could barely hear it. Maybe Jeremy could let go for one day, and let himself be wrapped in the other’s arms and forget about the world. He could stop being so afraid of everything, and just stay there with him forever. He leaned up, gently kissing Michael, pouring all his thanks and love into that one kiss, before pulling away.

 

_ And laugh away the fear _

 

He let out a small laugh. “Y-Your shirt’s soaked.” He muttered, looking at the wet spot his tears had left on Michael’s shirt. Michael gave him a small smile, laughing as well. Jeremy felt his heart lift a little, making him feel a little more human. They could laugh away the fear together. He kissed the other again. The same old routine- Michael and Jeremy, in a two-player game against the world. Jeremy would have it no other way.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> hahaha there’s undertones of stuff if you look closely
> 
> whoops
> 
> anyways, hope you enjoyed!! (i’m trash for comments,, especially constructive criticism)
> 
> stay tuned in the coming days for possible posting of my friend, PlayerOneMell, and my newest story, i think you’ll really love it!!
> 
> stay safe, loves, and see you in the next post!! 
> 
> ~ PlayerTwoHeere


End file.
